Sometimes it seems like my life is a constant state of stops and starts. While often exciting, it's always busy and it's quite often frustrating.
A quick look at my draft folder illustrates my point for me. So many entries started, and abandoned becaue there wasn't time to get back there.
Someone on the planning committee has decided that I have to work very hard for anything I might want, and even then someone might yank on the rug just as I'm about to reach for it. It's infuriating, yet somehow motivating. I swear, I'm going to win.
I'm tired of promising myself that this is the year that I'm going to (fill in the blank). I'm gonna get back at my crafting, my writing, and so much more. I'm always last -- and the worst part is that I usually do it to myself -- even if that's simply not speaking up when something else pops in.
I have been slowing getting everything into my new laptop and working on ridding myself of what I tend to call as paper hell. Converting a lot of the paper to scans on a hard drive, and purging the paper is a slow process but with each recycle bin that goes out the door, I find myself smiling for the progress.
I cleaned off my desk this morning and dubbed myself somewhat of a waste of tech. My brand new microphone, and web cam bought for my desktop machine haven't even been opened yet. I figured there was no point because the desktop machine died with a power outtage a few months back. Power supply didn't fix the problem though it was toasted. It's on the honey-do pile.
Today I found a shiny red pair of Sony headphones still in the box on my desk that I'd completely forgotten about. My grandson will laugh because they're the same as his only in a different colour. My hubby had bought them for me for the new laptop because the bluetooth was giving me a hard time and I couldn't hear properly in a meeting I was in. I haven't had many meetings over the Summer so they haven't been christened yet.
Don't even get me started on my crafty corner. I've cleaned out the corner several times since Covid came calling. I even got in there a couple of times to create but nothing NEAR what I'd been used to.
2023 as a whole has really sucked (so far). Too many funerals, and not enough weddings. Don't get me wrong, there have been some bright spots too -- but we could use a lot more. This year has already delivered some pretty hard hits to the heart but it's only served to strengthen my desire to kick some a$$ and get to where I want to be.
Covid forced some serious change on our world both personally and professionally. Choices were made for me for a lot of things and as usual we've just rolled with the punches as they come. I won't claim any of it was easy, but as with most things one foot in front of the other seems to get the job done.
It's funny how something you held on so tightly to can be taken away and it can feel like a sort of death. You grieve the loss of it -- not it specifically -- but the loss of the dream you were building. For a while, it just felt numb. Too much investment, for too little return.
I'm learning to say no more often, or at least "not right now," and allowing myself a chance to work on the things that are important to me. I can tell you that people are not generally receptive to the change, they've been spoiled by instant gratification for far too long. Too many have been allowed to take advantage of my good nature for what seems like forever. Change is hard, but ultimately it's a good thing.
I am so very thankful for the intrepid friends and fellow medzone warriors that I get to call my tribe. I cannot imagine this life without you. When I think of where I started, and all the mountains I've had to climb.. I cannot imagine having done it without you all. It is because of you that I can smile about some of the hardest parts.
For all that I've lost, and found this year I am grateful. Despite best efforts to thwart my progress, I am still here, still standing, and still progressing to the goal post. If I'm lucky, I'll still remember where I was going when I get there!
No comments:
Post a Comment