It's not that I haven't tried, in fact, I have many beginnings that got interrupted and never revisited. Or I'd get on a bit of a soapbox tangent, and cast it aside and when I'd return it would no longer feel relevant.
A great many other updates occurred directly to social media. Often on the fly as a passenger in the car to one place or another.
It seems crazy to me to think that I'd ever find myself to be too busy to do the things I love most but here we are. I've an overwhelming desire to stand out on the rooftop a number of times just to shout out "Stop the world, I wanna get off!" Oh to have a quiet day with no commitments to anyone. I forget what that is. Every time I think I have the day figured out something or someone pops up to redirect the flow.
So many of my regular pursuits and things in progress were left hanging on the clothesline. Now to pick each one up, dust it off and determine whether it should be sent off to the bit bucket or returned to service. It will take some time but I'll get there.
Thankfully being in the med-zone lent me somewhat of a mandatory slow down for a while. A chance to pause, to re-group and to plot my next steps. So many plans and half-baked projects to work on. So many dreams left to fullfil. If not now -- when? has been quite prevalent on my mind. I turned 50 this year. I'm not getting any younger.
We welcomed our newest grandchild to the family just a few days after my birthday. With her comes a big brother who we've only just begun to know but we love him to bits already. 2 boys and 2 girls ~ we are so very blessed. You don't know unconditional love 'til your baby's baby calls you Grandma, I swear!
I was marvelling with a couple of good friends this week just how long it's been since we've all had the time -- taken the time -- to get together and just BE. When did life get so damned busy? It has been months since I got inky fingers -- you know that's a rarity around here.
As kids, we were all in such a huge hurry to grow up. We'd be adults, we could do whatever we wanted. Stay up as late as we wanted, eat whatever we wanted, with no restrictions. Yeah. How did that work out for you?
As parents of sometimes cranky teens, we looked forward to a day when they'd be adults and we'd just be us again. Just when we'd acclimated ourselves to what that might look like, grandbabies arrived. That's not to say I'm complaining, but rather pointing out that we always seem to want to be somewhere other than where we are. Isn't that strange? These days, I'm happy just to be in my cave, puttering around my house and not having to go anywhere. Those days are pretty rare.
I spent much of the last year in preparation mode. In between the day-to-day and running around I was gearing up for a long-awaited surgery. Bi-weekly check-ins and plotting took me out of the cave a lot more than I had been used to in a very long time. Surgery brought on a variety of changes and plotting around homecare. On a plus note, I'm feeling better now than I have in a very long time. Still have a ways to go, but for the first time in a long time, there's hope.
I've gotten to spend copious amounts of time with any variety of our kids and grandchildren. Honestly, they've been my salvation. No matter how crazy life gets, they can always make me smile -- especially those littles. My goodness!! Our little people make awesome little people. <3
We're finally in the home stretch of wound care, and things are slowly beginning to get back to normal -- whatever that is -- or a reasonable facsimile. Picking up and getting back on track feels a little like sorting socks, but we're hanging in there.
Here's to getting back to the fray!
