Saturday, 7 May 2016
Mother's Day is here again and my hubby's been laughing at me for weeks, though by now he should be used to it.
Every channel seems to be full of go buy this or that for your mom, and I am fairly certain that the jewelry companies are in competition for the ugliest bauble they can make somebody buy. I've been heard often over the years to say "Oh gross!", or "Please don't" to one gaudy piece or another. I've never been one to want a need for a pool boy to carry some big gaudy trinket that someone felt guilted into buying.
Besides, it's Mother's Day, right? Those ad's sure aren't geared to a young child's pay rate.. I can't help but think we've completely missed the point all around.
I've never been a big fan of mother's day as many of you know for a variety of reasons. As a child, it was always a reminder of my own absentee Mom, and I hated hearing what all my friends were doing with their mom's enjoying opportunities that we'd not been afforded. Though I'm sure there were some, I don't remember celebrating Mother's Day with Mom.
I don't remember the year it shifted. It was in my early teens, and I couldn't even tell you exactly what I'd said to my Dad that morning but I'll never forget the look on his face. He hadn't missed a beat and he'd declared that of course I had a Mom. He was right there! My sister and I had laughed ourselves silly that Day. The idea of Dad being Mom tickled our funny bones.
One year I took an ad out in the paper and published a Happy Mother's Day Dad advertisement in the Province Newspaper. The lady taking the ad was sniffling as I told her our story. Dad had laughed at me for doing so, and told me I was crazy.. but years later I'd find that newspaper clipping among his photographs and mementos. It obviously meant a lot to him. He'd been so proud of the blue roses that we'd had him sent a few years ago.
As a young step-mom who'd never had children of her own it was a reminder of the children that ovarian cancer and subsequent med issues stole from me. I always wished for just one child that I didn't have to share.
I was pretty lucky however, our 3 little bears always had plenty of love to go around. My teddybear started a tradition of mini rosesbushes and saw that my efforts in the "mom job" weren't unnoticed. So many of my stepmom friends aren't so fortunate. Even now, I usually hear from all 3 kids.. and now grandbabies too. I don't forget that I am lucky.
I still have a variety of mementoes from our littles from over the years, including a simple strip of paper that our eldest had given me one year. I'll never forget it. The girls had made crafts at school, but he'd never been very crafty, and as they were pulling things out he remembered it was Mother's Day and had run into the other room. He'd torn a strip from the edge of one of his notebooks and written "I love you Mom" on it. I thought he was going to squish his sister when she looked him right in the face and told him that was a stupid gift. I'd given him such a big hug and told him it was perfect. I loved to see their sweet little grins. They gave much, and asked for very little.
Sometimes I still can't believe that Dad's gone. You don't realize how strong your bond is with someone until they're no longer with you. People like to tell you you'll get over it, but it's not so easy. I still hear his voice commenting on things, weighing in on tough decisions, and sometimes it's just a smartass comment I know he'd have shared. I have no doubt where my warped sense of humour comes from.
He'd have gotten a big kick out of me being a Grandma. After all the teasing I got about it being payback time when the kids were growing up, it would have been fun for him to see their payback. I used to remind him often that I'd been a GOOD kid, while our kids were driving us crazy -- there were 3 of them after all. He'd just laugh..
I have to believe he's up there feeding the birds and squirrels, and watching what we're up to down here. I wish he'd gotten to meet his Great Grand-babies. He'd have just loved telling everybody he was a GREAT Grandpa.
Happy Mother's Day Daddy-Mom!
You are loved, and missed. Today, and always.