One day at a time.. the journey to ME!

I have come to a point in my life where I’m coming to some harsh realizations.  I often joke about it and tell friends and family that I’m getting bitchy in my old age, but when it comes right down to it, this one has been brewing for quite a while..

One of the biggest items on that list if the fact that I am never going to have enough time to accomplish everything I want to do in my lifetime. 

Another is that no matter how hard you try, and how much you accomplish that there will always be some jerk at the ready to pee in your cornflakes and give you all the reasons that you shouldn’t have done it, didn’t do it right, didn’t do it as well as someone else -  so many unhappy people in our midst who are so un-happy themselves that it is not in them to see anyone else excel or succeed. 

I find myself dwelling a lot lately on what I vaguely term as “time management” and that perhaps I need some kind of course or training because I must have missed a key note somewhere..  but then upon careful observation I start to realize that it isn’t as much about managing time more wisely, but more an issue of portion control.  Leave it to the fat girl to make a diet reference, but it makes sense. 

As days go by I seem to pile more and more on my plate, and as we get to brainstorming among creative minds that plate begins to runneth over.  Frustration builds and before too long I’m looking at the growing pile with a bit more of a scrutiny and it comes to me.  The long ago voice of an instructor from a course I took years ago --  Ed --  one of the sweetest and most gentle spirits I have ever met.  He’d suggested I read a book called “When I say no, I feel guilty” and I remember wondering what that had to do with anything..  so he gave a bit of a Coles notes version.

I never did read the book, but my conversations with him stick firm in my mind and I recall how he reached out to me and tried to make a difference.  He hit on a key point that while hard to accept was also hard to ignore.  My plate was full because *I* had allowed it to be filled.  Often, I was the one filling up the plate. Items falling off seemed to just make more room to pile more on.  Right?  Uh yeah, that’s it!

Just like I didn’t become a packrat in a day, untangling the plate isn’t going to happen immediately either, it is a process.   I am finding however that lately my lists seem to play together – that is – that several jobs for different groups seem to run in the same circles and the duplicity there affords me a little unexpected wiggle room. 

My calendar, and my notebook have become invaluable and I’ve started  playing with Onenote.   It’s great for making lists, leaving jot notes.  You can even categorize them for different topics or tasks. 

The events of the last year have given much opportunity to re-evaluate and I find myself being more and more ruthless when it comes to purging and reclaiming my life in an effort to save what's left of my poor addled and often lonely blond brain cell. 

I don’t always make it to the end of my list on any given day, but at least I can tell you with absolute certainty that I started out with 10 things, someone else added 6 more and by the end of the day I’d completed 8 and of those how many of those were on my original list. 

It’s not much but its progress, and you know what?  I’ll take it!